I recently read an article about the impact of state of mind on performance. There were no surprises in that we perform at our best when we are calm, happy and energised. On the flipside we perform less well when we are frustrated, anxious, tired or stressed. They referred to these as \”FATS\” states. You can read the article here.
So what are the things we can do to attain those happy, calm and energised states? I’m going to deal with happiness in this newsletter and will follow up with a second blog on attaining calm and energised states.
Being Happy:
Baggage
I’ve not yet met a human being that doesn’t have a bit of ‘baggage’, some limiting beliefs, or hang ups. Crikey, I’ve cleared plenty of ‘stuff’ myself; the consequence has been that I feel much lighter and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
We just get in our own way sometimes. I’d had an ambition since I was about 7 years old to run my own business. However, whenever I thought about it, I was filled with fear. What if it goes wrong? What if I don’t make enough money? What if I can’t sell? Then, when I was learning to be an NLP Practitioner a friend applied a ‘technique’ on me, which created that eureka moment: “Ah stuff it! What is the worst that could happen? If it doesn’t work out, I’ll get another job!”
Over the years I have worked with many ‘techniques’, which have created positive coincidences in people’s business-lives: EFT, Hypnotherapy, NLP and now Havening. Havening for me has been the silver bullet and is what I tend to use with my clients these days. It’s really simple. Here’s a 2 minute video on how to use it.
Purpose
Work from a sense of purpose. What were you put on this earth to do? What activities make you happy? What makes you feel like you are making a difference? Often our purpose originates from our childhood. As a kid one of my favourite games was playing ‘Flower Factories’. We mashed rose petals in a jam jar and then sold it to our neighbours as ‘perfume’. I developed a fascination for business. Additionally, I love to help people to be the best version of themselves: to be brilliant – again this stems from having a bit of a slow start in education.
Strengths
Work in line with strengths, which are often connected to your purpose. I frequently coach people that feel unhappy, because they are in the wrong role which is not utilising their natural talents. This in turn makes them feel bad because they don’t perform as well as they could do. For example, I started out my career in HR. I took this route because I wanted to work with people. However, the further I progressed, the harder it became. I was miserable when it came to writing policies, disciplining, dismissing, etc. When they started calling my department ‘Human Remains’ I knew it was time to get out. You can do a free strengths test here.
Values
Work in an organisation which aligns to your values. Have you ever worked somewhere and felt like you didn’t fit in? I only lasted 14 months in one role. I’d gone from a position where I was given responsibility and freedom to achieve (my values), to a really wealthy company, which meant that employees didn’t have to work particularly hard. I became a glorified tea girl. To establish what your values are, ask yourself the following question, and identify a list of 6 things. What’s important to me about work? Then prioritise the list and score each item out of 10. 10 = absolutely satisfied. Identify what you could do to increase the score of those below 10.
BHAG’s & Vision
Big Hairy Audacious Goals, (BHAG’s) and Visions: one of the things I have noticed is that people can feel depressed or unhappy about their work / life because it is not moving towards anything. They feel stuck, trapped and as though it’s ‘Groundhog Day’. I am a big believer in having something in the diary to look forward to. I once read a statistic about holidays, which stated that a large part of the enjoyment stems from thinking about the holiday, as opposed to actually being on it!
The more you can align a vision to your strengths, values and purpose, the happier you could become. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. Take some time to let your imagination run wild and dare to dream. I recently went on a fantastic course run by Brian Mayne. He recommends writing and drawing what it is that you want. Stick men and symbols are fine. It doesn’t have to be a work of art. Drawings and colour programme the unconscious mind – your autopilot.
Mindfulness & Gratitude
I’ve seen lots of research on the positive impact of leading a mindful and grateful life. Mindfulness for me is having that moment to moment awareness and being able to choose to be in what you’re in.
We struggled to have children but were blessed with our lovely Daisy. We made 4 IVF attempts to have another and were devastated at the time. However, I can honestly say it was the right thing for us…now.
Dwelling on what could have been, what we haven’t got or anything else negative in our past, only steals the opportunity for happiness now. (This is another great opportunity to use Havening).
Being happy in work / life involves noticing what’s great and beautiful and then choosing to be in it, (not trapped in your own head and thoughts). For example, as I type this, I love to look out at the trees and hear the lambs bleating. Or it could be looking at my daughter’s beautiful little face or celebrating those milestones, like perfecting her swimming stroke.
The idea with the above well-meaning advice is that we are all writers of our own work-life script; we’ve discovered that we can even influence our genes through our actions. Empower yourself to write a good script.
