There has been quite an explosion on social media, the news and down at the school gates about the EU Referendum. I have seen friends fall out and harsh words exchanged on Facebook. Beneath it all though, I think is worry. Worry about what the future holds for our country, children, the next generation, our businesses etc. etc.
Below is a simple exercise I often give to my clients to help eliminate worry:
Step 1: Write your worry down, so that you can fully express it and see it in black and white
When we worry or ruminate our thoughts have a tendency to go round and round in our head, but with no exit or plan of action. Often when I’m coaching and I repeat back what the client has said, they can appear shocked – did I really think or say that?
Step 2: Recognise what type of thinking you are engaging in. Are you:
- Exaggerating or distorting the facts in any way?
- Catastrophizing?
- Engaging in all or nothing thinking: this or that, no shades of grey?
- Discounting the positive? Thinking negatively?
- Blaming yourself or someone else?
- Having to be perfect?
- Mind reading another person?
- Fortune telling about the future?
- Time Machine: focussing on the past?
- Being over-responsible?
- Personalising the issue: is it me?
Step 3: Identify what is within your power and control to change
You are probably familiar with the phrase: put up and shut up or do something about it? When faced with a problem or worry, we have 4 options:
- Stay with it but stop moaning
- Work to change the systems, procedures or ways of work – do something
- Change yourself and your responses
- Get out / exit the situation
Step 4: Identify what you will do
Even deciding to stop moaning about a situation is a positive step!
Step 5: Replace worrying, negative inner dialogue, with calm, reassuring inner coach thoughts
ü What will be will be.
ü What is the worst that could happen? If x did happen, this is what I would do to cope…
ü Let it go.
ü What’s said is said. What’s done is done.
ü You’ll be OK.
